Courage

(n.) mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

I've never considered myself courageous. I've never been "brave." Timid? Sure. Uncertain? Heck yes. Courageous? Not so much. In my mind, courageous people are the ones who rush into burning buildings, who go off to war, who believe in a dream and fight for it.

I'm not one of those people. I'm just ordinary. So much in my life is uncertain right now, and I am a timid, fearful person. Daniel still doesn't have a job. We still don't know where we'll be living in less than three months. I'm very tired. My life feels so directionless.

However, I am loved by a big God, who knows all and sees all. And He gives me courage. Because I'm learning that it takes courage to be imperfect. It takes courage to be vulnerable. It takes courage to believe in God's provision. Sometimes it even takes courage to get out of bed in the morning and face the reality of uncertainty.

But God takes the faint-hearted and makes them courageous.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be afraid of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
~Deuteronomy 31:6

Week One, Check!

Last Tuesday, I decided to get off my huge, ever-growing well-proportioned backside, stop complaining about my tight-fitting pants, and do something about it. I'm checking in a week later to say, "I'm still doing it!"

Every day after work, I go straight home and exercise. I've done three days of Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred, one session of yoga, and one afternoon of dancing, followed by 25 push-ups (which for me is a true triumph) and 30 bicycle crunches. (I took the weekend off to let my body heal a little bit! It's not used to working so hard! We did take a 45 minute walk, though, on Saturday.)

I'm intentionally not weighing in for awhile. I want to focus, not on pounds, but on feeling healthier! And I have to admit, I already feel so much better! I'm more relaxed, my attitude has improved, and I'm actually excited about exercising now!

I think I'm going to have Daniel help me take "critical" measurements (waist, chest, arms, thighs, hips, etc.) tonight, so that in a month or so, I can document and evaluate my progress! Thanks for sticking with me! More updates to come...

Bliss.

(n.) Gladness, enjoyment, perfect joy or happiness; blessedness (OED).

Bliss is riding in the truck, with the windows down and the heater on.

Bliss is turning the radio on, hearing the Macarena, pulling up to a stoplight, and starting to dance, only then realizing your husband is dancing the Macarena in the truck with you.

Bliss is laughing about the little moments in life with the one you love the most, even as those moments are unfolding.

Spontaneous. Wonderful. Imperfect. Beautiful. Life.

A Cool Front Came Through.

I walked out my door this morning and shivered as my eyes assessed the cloudy gray sky. The chilly breeze, blowing around our apartment building, wrapped around me like a scarf. I stuck my hands in my pockets, and raised my face up to receive its cool caress.

Yesterday, it was 91°. This morning on my way to work it was 62°. It's not as cool as up north, but I'll take it!

Hello, fall! Are you actually going to stick around this time?

The Perfect Antidote

Today has been a crazy day at work...absolutely crazy. Lots of last minute stuff thrown my direction, big projects approaching deadlines, phones ringing off the hook, and building inspections to be done. (The President of the United States will be on campus tomorrow, after all.)

What's the perfect antidote for all this craziness?

A quick visit to the blogosphere, a large Cherry Coke, and Nickel Creek.

This is bliss.

Happy Little Checkboxes

There's just something about a to-do list. I used to hate them. They were daunting, and if I didn't check all the boxes off, I felt like a failure.

But now, I love the structure and the motivation they provide.

Each day this week, before heading home from work, I've created a list of things I either need to do, or would like to do, during my evenings at home, like:

*Exercise
*Unload/reload dishwasher
*Clean kitchen counters
*Handwash my *ahem* unmentionables
*Play guitar
*Read for fun
*Spend some time card-making
*Watch CSI:NY
*Take a bubble bath

My new routine begins with exercise. When I get home from work, I change immediately into my work-out clothes and get the biggest, most daunting to-do out of the way. It actually provides a great transition into the rest of the evening. I get to work out some of my tense energy, which collects after sitting at a desk all day long, and once it's over, I can happily check off that little box, and move on to the next one.

Having a list, an ordered set of goals, helps me use my time more wisely, and since I've begun this "happy little checkboxes" experiment, I've actually been getting more done, while still having time for the fun, little things like CSI and taking a bubble bath. I think it's because I realize how quickly I can knock out all those little chores I hate, if I just buckle down and focus on checking things off.

In Ephesians 5:15-16, we're encouraged to "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil." Other translations read, "redeeming the time" or "making the most out of every opportunity."

I'm not saying I make the best use of my time (I do like CSI, after all), but these to-do lists at least help me evaluate how I budget my time, and help me avoid wasting it on mindless internet surfing or Facebook stalking. Going to sleep in the evening feeling like you've actually accomplished something is one of the best feelings in the world.

How are you making the best use of your time? Are there things you'd like to cut back on (like Facebook?), or activities you'd like to resurrect (like soaking in the tub or reading a good book)?

Tis (Almost) the Season

After a few quick calculations, it has come to my attention that Christmas is only 71 days away. That's still quite a ways away, I know. But there's so much to do before Christmas Day rolls around.

Since Christmas is on a Friday, I've decided that every Friday will be "Christmas Music In The Car Day," at least until Thanksgiving, and then it's Christmas music 24/7. Teehee. (Or HoHoHo?)

Last night, I began working on our Christmas card designs for 2009. Since I hand-make all our Christmas cards, I have to get an early jump on it, or they'd never get mailed on time. I like the two designs I've mocked up so far, but I'll probably churn out a few more before I settle on the official one (or two!).

Daniel and I have decided that one of the best gifts we can give ourselves for Christmas is health. Our goal? To be toned by Christmas. "Toned" is relative, of course, and our main goal is, more specifically, to be healthier then than we are now. How will we accomplish this? Easy! (Heh, yeah right.)

Remember this post? The post where I let Jillian Michael know exactly what I thought about her? Well, to be completely honest, I never gave her a second shot. My first time through the 30-Day Shred was my final time. Until last night, that is. I convinced Daniel to work out with me, and we made it through the intense 20-minute killer workout together. Only this time, it didn't kill me! I was actually smiling at the end! (Not because the exercise felt great, but because the sense of accomplishment did.) And I can walk today without limping! (Also an improvement. I think it's because I've started walking several miles each week. My muscles are no longer atrophying.)

Anyway, we plan to alternate Jillian Michael's hard-core-ness with yoga, and continue our around-town walks. Jillian's system provides cardio, strength-training, and abs. Yoga helps our flexibility. Walking is just plain good for us!

I'll let you know how the "Toned By Christmas" goal turns out! (I have my own reasons for wanting to get in shape, but I'm not ready to share quite yet!)

Another milestone we hope to achieve by Christmas? Hopefully Daniel will find a job! His initial "behavioral" interview with a certain very big company went very well, and he has even more jobs to apply for now. Hopefully one or more of those applications will turn into an interview here in the next couple of weeks! Please keep praying!!

Regardless, Christmas is (almost) in the air, fall has arrived (even though it keeps trying to sneak away), and Daniel and I are solidly into our second year of wedded bliss. I'm re-learning the value of contentedness and gratitude, and life really couldn't be any better than this. :)

Gratefulness

(n.) having a spirit of gratitude, an appreciation of benefits or blessings received.

In the world of academics, I'm a quick study, but when it comes to life-lessons, I'm (apparently) a pretty slow learner. I'm a perfectionist, and I like to have life planned out. I like to feel in control. God, as the great teacher, is telling me, "I AM in control, and life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful."

So in my imperfect life, I've started looking for the beautiful moments, the little things that inspire gratitude and praise, the small gifts that sustain me.

Be Grateful...

For cloudy days and cool breezes,

For hot tea, soothing music, comfort foods,

For hands to hold,

For the changing of seasons,

For family, old friends, smiles from strangers,

For quiet moments, for laughter,

For a place to come home to,

For sweaters, moonlight, brisk walks,

For Scrabble and crosswords,

For chocolate milk and muffins,

For grace,

For joy,

For hope,

For Love.

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
2 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.